If you grew up in the ruins of insecure attachment with unavailable, intrusive, or abusive touch, then to survive, you continue to remain in small spaces; not allow others to reach you; resistant to any sort of connection, touch, or relationship that requires you to come out of your comfort zone. You continually run from relationships into small, tight spaces asking the people you love the most, “If I hide, will you come find me?” You think it’s comfortable there, but really, it’s not; it’s cramped, small, and lonely. But since it’s the only space you’ve ever known, you cling to it.

If you were not securely attached to your primary caretaker as a child and have not actively worked on earned secure attachment to God as an adult, then walking securely in your relationships with God, your spouse, children, friends, or any other significant relationship in your life will be extremely difficult. But healing is possible. Restoration is possible. We just have to cry out, to trust, and to obey a God who loves us more than we could ever understand.

While we think being safe means freedom from all sickness and suffering, in the big scheme of things, being “safe” means we will live forever with Christ.

Instead of ignoring all our emotions or stuffing them inside while trying to smear a veneer of praise on the surface, we need to try to let them all come up and out. The past will eventually pop up in the present if it isn’t dealt with. Instead of suppressing our emotions, we must learn to pay attention to them, so we can trace our anxious, angry, hurtful, sinful reactions back to their source and give them to God instead of stuffing them deeper inside.