Susannah Baker

Appointment Day

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Appointment Day

On July 15, 2015, Posted by , in Adoption, Adoption Journey, With 18 Comments




Today was a long day of doctors visits and passport appointments. Our guide who leads us through each and every day and step of the process is wonderful, and she makes each appointment as smooth and easy as it can possibly be. I think there is just an emotional toll the six of us are feeling, so that by the time 7pm comes, we are all practically falling asleep in our chairs at the dinner table.

Today Mia Grace had to pass her medical exams to be able to leave China and enter the U.S. No fever, infection, etc. And while she passed the exam and was a trooper throughout each stage of the afternoon, she was silent throughout each and every part of the examination. And while I have always prayed for my babies NOT to cry at the doctor’s office, this was the first time I was praying that I would hear my baby cry. Because tears at discomfort, pain, or unfamiliarity would show that she believes if she cries, someone will hear those cries…and respond with comfort. The lack of tears tells me at some point she learned, probably very early on, not to cry…because nobody would be there to answer.

I’m not trying to be melodramatic or overly emotional. It’s just factual. And while I’ve known that fact about institutionalized kids for a while now, knowledge has turned to compassion, empathy, and even grief today as I have watched Mia Grace. The knowledge that she already had her surgery when she was less than a year old and didn’t have parents there to comfort her in the hospital through surgery and recovery is really tough to think about. I’ve thought about today all of the ear infections, stomach bugs, coughs, runny noses, and downright strange viruses my three girls had their first 18 months of life and all of the late nights, rocking chairs, TLC, and doctors visits that occurred for each of them. And then I think about Mia Grace. It has been a teary day for me and a somber day for Jason as we contemplate the reality of her past.

I know, though, that the Lord has a plan for this little girl that will combine her tough inner strength and the healing I know will inevitably come in her heart to move her towards trust and attachment. I know the Lord will not waste her tears, or lack thereof, but will use all things in Mia Grace’s past, present, and future to make her into a woman who will fulfill all of God’s purposes for her in her generation.

Until that day of ultimate healing and strength, as her parents, we pray for her tears and thank the Lord for the opportunity to know her and love her in His perfect time.

Tomorrow we have a day off from appointments (hooray!) and get to go to the zoo. I am hoping the monkeys or giraffe will be a delight to our girl, and maybe tomorrow we will even get the first hint of a smile…

Much love,
The Baker 6




18 Comments so far:

  1. Maggie Aquaro says:

    Baker family!

    The girls and I are sitting at the airport waiting to go home and they’ve been asking lots of questions about you all! It has been so exiting to watch my own girls excitement over this journey you’re on. They’re so looking forward to seeing Mia Grace with their own eyes and watching her play among her sisters 🙂

    Praying for you sweet friends!

    Much love,

  2. Ana Ince says:

    It breaks my heart to think that she’s learned to keep quiet because no help would come. I’m so glad she’s with you now and will soon learn that she will be heard and comforted. Praying her trust grows and she rest knowing she’s protected and loved. Love you all!

  3. Mia Ince says:

    I’ve been waiting all morning for your post. Tears. But as hard as it is to think about Mia Grace’s past, God is redeeming it by giving her a family who will teach her about Jesus, the Great Redeemer, who will redeem all the negative in her past, turning it to good for her future. I know you know that, but I just need to say it. The love of your (our) family and friends will be used to teach her about how much her Savior loves her. What a little trooper she is and as you’ve said, God will use that “toughness’ for His glory.

    When I saw her sleeping, it seemed obvious to me that God is already healing, because she sleeps with an open trusting-ness (I know that’s not really a word) that she is home and she is safe.

    Love you so.

  4. Bobbye says:

    Sweetest Susannah…you are, indeed, this precious one’s MOTHER! Only a mother could have the emotions you’ve expressed so eloquently. I can only imagine the joy her first smile will bring! Little steps that are so huge to your heart. I know the smiles, tears, and words will come and you’ll have trouble remembering when they were void. God’s love for Mia Grace will move those mountains from her past and make way for a glorious future! Praying for and loving each of you!!!

  5. Teri Bono says:

    I was thinking the same thing “Mia Ince” said—she sleeps with arms wide open in trust. The thought of her not having anyone come when she cried before is so unsettling. But she will learn these things in the arms of a family who WILL be there for her in all things, good and bad. She will learn to trust and she has the best family to help her and love her through it.

  6. Teresa Medeiros says:

    OH sweet SuSu , every morning I can’t wait to check on you all . It is blessing us to read every word you have written . It is all so true . Love all the pictures that speak louder then words . She is no doubt with the right and precious family . One day she will know it all and feel blessed . God is so good . we are continuing to pray for the rest of your journey . Love you much !

  7. Carol Taylor says:

    Yes, tears as I read your post and see the precious pictures. Photos of a loving Mom, loving dad, and 3 wonderful sisters. And photos of a very beautiful, but stoic little girl. I am praying that she will know that you are not leaving her, that she will be loved forever by this family who is already showering her with love. And I am praying that you will see her smile very soon. We love her already and look forward to meeting her.

  8. Cara says:

    All I can say is today is a new day. The past is behind Mia Grace and the Lord has redemptive plans for her going forward. She is loved, cherished, and adored by her Heavenly Father and her NEW family!!! These pictures continue to bring happy tears. Eager to hold her!!!!!

  9. Sarah says:

    Tears here, but also so much hope and joy knowing this precious little girl will be heard, comforted and loved more than anything from here on out. As said above, soon the quietness will be replaced with smiles, laughter, squeals and tears. Praying for each of you. We are so excited to meet her!!

  10. Reichen says:

    Hello Baker fam! We love the updates and pictures, thanks for sharing!! As I read your post today, I thought of Revelation 21:5- He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” We are praying for all of you and for sweet Mia Grace and God’s hand to be upon her as she learns her new family is trustworthy and so is her Heavenly Father! Love you all!!

  11. Carter Moody says:

    Mrs. Baker,
    I want you to know that we are praying for y’all and can’t wait for your daily updates. It took several days for our Peter to smile but it was so worth the wait! I know having three big sisters must be a comfort for Mia Grace and I am so proud of the girls for being such troopers! I know personally it’s a hard trip. Can not wait to see the picture of her smiling face that I know is coming soon! Prayer and more Prayers!

    • susannahbaker says:

      Thank you, Carter. Your words are so full of hope and encouragement. I look forward to the day when Peter and Mia grace can finally meet!

  12. Amy says:

    Sweet baker 6!
    How we love you all. How we celebrate with each post Gods kindness and provision. His revelation of truth and insights to your heart on Mia’s behalf and Hos grace that covers all. I’ve been studying grace so much and God is walking me a long journey in understanding it in my life and this comforts me. The hardest things that He allows in my life are in Hos grace- and as such, they become a gift. Though they look ugly, He makes ALL things new. Even ugly things. The past 18 months of Mia’s life have brought great pain in her tiny soul yet God HEALS, Completely and He is working that healing even now because of His GRACE! Praise Him for His testimony He has given her and the one He has given you and that He has gifted you with each other to walk with. We love you dear ones. Be refreshed in the Hope of CHRIST !

  13. Holly says:

    I hear you on mourning the lack of tears. It is heartbreaking. But slowly, every hug, every cuddle, every soft word is warming up her heart and you will see the day when she expresses true emotion. Right now, together as her family, you are showing her love for the first time; true, unconditional, safe love. She will respond in time. Days ahead will be filled with giggles and cries as she learns that there are now five people who will respond to her need to be heard and loved. How great is this story going to be! thank you for sharing the ups and downs. We all love her so.

  14. Berger Family says:

    Susannah, the picture of her little tiny arm over Jason’s big strong arm is touching as well as you holding her protectively at the doctor’s office. A picture of our Heavenly Father’s love and protection. She is adorable. You all are loving on her so well and showing her so much of Christ’s love, compassion and tenderness. I pray His perfect love will cast out all her silent fears. I wonder if she also faced negative consequences for crying in the past and if she never really heard much crying as well. Thinking and praying for all of you. So happy she passed her tests. Have fun at the zoo. I wonder what her favorite animal will be. If you find a cute little animal book in the zoo bookstore, you could get it and date it and all of you could put your names on it as a keepsake memory for her to look at and add to her bookshelf. Praying for all of you.

  15. Kendall says:

    I agree with your Mom about her trusting posture as she sleeps! We go to bed excited to hear about the day at the zoo and pondering how God already knows the moment she will peep and what a celebration it will be for her sweet family to hear.

  16. Cimbrey says:

    Susannah, I can see that God is working in you so much through this experience. That grief will turn to joy as you see God restore, heal, and bring about life in Mia Grace. The boy we met in Ethiopia four years ago this month was somber, frightened, and quiet, much like Mia Grace. Now, I would never use those words to characterize him! He’s full of life, joy, and he’s so friendly! God truly makes ALL THINGS NEW. What a blessing that he is using you and Jason to communicate is love, care, and healing to Mia Grace. You may be tired, but you are doing AMAZING WORK every day. You all are experiencing a foreign country and all it’s different sights, sounds, smells, processing the new dynamic of your family, and bonding with a child that you passionately want to understand how much you love her. Wow. It’s no wonder you all are tired!!! By the way…Mark would like to know how Jason’s heart is. LOL!

    • susannahbaker says:

      Hah! Great, great question from Mark! Jason’s heart, of course, seems to be holding us all together. He is tired too but pretty smitten with Mia Grace 🙂

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