I am writing a confession, instead of a bio, so that you can know a little more about me. A confession because confessional living is more and more how I seem to live. Confessionally. Desperately. On my knees. Declaring before the face of God who I am not. Declaring exactly who I have wished to be but have failed miserably to be. And who I am not is this: I am not extraordinary. I am not a missionary, or a scholar, or a doctor (all things I once aspired to be). I am not a perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect friend, or perfect teacher. I yell at my kids, I’m selfish with my husband, and I find myself measuring my days by what I’ve left undone (which is a lot) rather than what I’ve done. But slowly, ever so slowly, I am learning to confess all that I am in the light of who He IS. I am the wife of one incredibly strong, kind and compassionate man; I am the mother to four beautiful, lovely daughters; and yes, I am a great sinner. But I follow a God who is a Deep Forgiver. A Great Lover. A Wise Leader. And a Trusted Friend. And I have learned that the greatest confession of my life is that I serve a real Savior. And I have learned ever so slowly that the real work of my life is not in what I do but in how I can know and be known. How I can know a God who loves me, really loves me, despite myself. And how I can press in to be known by this God in the midst of very real, mundane moments of life that are consistently transformed by His goodness and grace. And this act of knowing and being known is the greatest work I could ever do. If you, like me, are desperate in the very real moments of very real life to know you serve a very real God, then take a deep breath, take off your shoes, and sit a while. Let us know and be known by this Great, Good God together.
Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 9:23-24